So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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