maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
