If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
