i just google imaged poop.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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