Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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