He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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