i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
