I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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