you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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