I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You were trust falling into bushes
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
