i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
