She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
