There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
