she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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