youre lurking in front of me
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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