Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Girls should come with a carfax report
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize