i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
We need to get me chipped asap
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
