there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It's never too late to be topless.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
