So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
porn star boner night. come get it.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
When are your genitals available?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
