will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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