dude i'm inner monologue high
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize