So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
