after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
