i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
