She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
