I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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