The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
