Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
