she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize