Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize