he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
