This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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