I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
is it fun? or sober?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
