...so i touched it.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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