oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
