there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
