Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize