we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
