but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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