You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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