That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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