Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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