Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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