dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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