Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
