im about as happy as oj after his trial
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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