i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
