just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
