the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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