did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
