He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
