I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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