If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
