i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
