One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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