I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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