I want you more than these girls want KFC
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
