i think i have herpe
just one?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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