Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
