You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
