the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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