I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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